PUMAs Give Cougars a Bad Name: Obama is a “Registered Muslim”


Michael Seitzman

Have you heard about a nutter named Chrissie Atkins? She’s one of those scorned loons that call themselves “PUMAs.” PUMA, for the blissfully uninitiated stands for — and I’m not making this up — “Party Unity My Ass.” Chris Matthews took on this Chrissie Atkins sack-of-dung yesterday in the crowd outside the convention center when she claimed to have a 17-page report from a congressional investigator that says that Barack Obama “went to a madrasa” and is a “registered Muslim.”

I’m not even sure what part of that is my favorite. The 17-page report? Wow, 17 pages. Single spaced? Somebody’s been burning the midnight oil. No, maybe my favorite part is the “congressional investigator.” When Matthews pressed this crooked tooth trashbag for a name, she said she wouldn’t tell him. When he asked again she said he should have his ears cleaned out so he could hear her better — “I’m not telling you!” She huffed this out while panting and seething as if she just caught her husband in bed with her sister (or his sister). Of course when Matthews pressed her again she finally said that the author of the report was a “former congressional investigator,” though she still wouldn’t or couldn’t furnish a name.

Actually, the part that made me laugh out loud (“lol” for you stay-at-home Pumas) was the “registered muslim.” After the laughter died down, I found myself thinking about how organized these Muslims are. Not like us Jews. I couldn’t get registered if I had a Torah around my neck. Then I tried to picture the registration office — the DMV — the Department of Muslim Verification, I would imagine.

Obviously Obama is not a Muslim. But even if he was…am I the only one deeply uncomfortable with the fact that the word “Muslim” has become synonymous with “monster” among the PUMA set and so many others? Yes, radical Muslims who fly planes into buildings are monsters of the most heinous variety. That’s a given. But were the Japanese-Americans who were thrown in American internment camps and stripped of their U.S. citizenship the same as the Japanese pilots who flew their planes into the ships at Pearl Harbor?

I wonder what the PUMAs would have said about Senator Daniel Inouye, winner of the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor for his heroism in WWII? Would they have praised him as a war hero? Or would they have gone on national television and claimed to have a 17-page report, written by an un-nameable and alleged former congressional investigator, proving that Senator Inouye is a registered Jap?

3 thoughts on “PUMAs Give Cougars a Bad Name: Obama is a “Registered Muslim”

  1. Actually in Indonesia you do register your religion, and it appears on your identity card — or at least did when I was last there. This is not optional. And one also normally submits this information for school registration, which, given the documentation, I suspect this referred to.

    Of course, who cares about anyones childhood religion. Or even their adult reason as long as they are progressive and politically secular. Except perhaps when one lies about it. Or in this case when conversion, or perceived conversion, could be a problem in some countries.

  2. “And one also normally submits this information for school registration”

    Would ‘one’ do that or would one’s parents do that? I know my children didn’t fill out their school registration form, I did it for them.

    I wonder how many PUMA’s are the same religion their parents foist upon them because they didn’t have the balls to go out and find their own path in life.

  3. Right, and that addressed the question of Obama’s current religion. He is almost certainly not currently a Muslim by the standards of your average US Christian. And I personally would agree that those who question the faith of their parents are to be admired. But that’s not the only issue at hand, and I think that ignoring what people are actually complaining about is where you get into trouble.

    The claim that he was never, even as a child, a Muslim and that he was raised a Christian is pretty dubious. Who cares. EXCEPT if he lied repeatedly about it, and, and this is what no one wants to talk about, in so far may be seen as apostasy in some of the countries in which a president would interact.

    Lying about one’s past is taken seriously by a lot of people, and considered by many indicative of future behavior. To just keep answering the claim “Barack was raised a Muslim” with “No, not true, Barack is a Christian!” just makes no sense. It’s answering one proposition with a completely unrelated argument.

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