Contemporary Muslim Woman Series: “Love or Arranged Marriage?” by Naila Sheikh

GOATMILK continues its original and exclusive month long series entitled “The Contemporary Muslim Woman” featuring diverse Muslim women writers from around the world discussing a gamut of topics in their own unique, honest and eclectic voices.

By Naila Sheikh

‘The happily ever after’ moments are very well tattooed in our minds from the time we are kids reading fairy tales to the very reality of growing up and realizing that ‘happily ever after’ may take another route before reaching its destination.

Marriage, a holy matrimony between two souls uniting in harmonious commitment for life, is a sacred occasion every girl dreams of. The preparation of finding your dream bridal dress, the perfect location for walking down the aisle and the strenuous decision involving the right flowers matching the bridal theme, are scenarios every girl fantasizes. A dream so pure and beautiful in thoughts, yet sometimes, is harshly unattainable in existence. Human nature has evolved drastically with the rapid growing technology of today and marriage has been given a whole different meaning with an emphasis on independent freedom and extravagant desires. People have become aware of their surroundings and demands by paying a more detailed observation when finding a mate.

Love Marriage

How beautiful it is to find someone special, fall in love, get married and start a family when  the pair vows to be committed to each other for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from  “this” day forward until death do us part. Are love marriages as genuine like the vows that are recited and solemnly promised to one and other in the presence of God and His witnesses or have our promises taken a turn of deceit, materialistic gain and self indulgence? Have we vowed to be together for the right reasons or are we acting upon our sex-driven hormones to merely fulfill our conventional expectations of becoming bride and groom? In other words, are we kidding ourselves of ‘love’ or is love yet to happen?

“Contemporary Muslim Woman” Series: Over 30 and Unmarried – Breaking a Stalemate

GOATMILK continues its original and exclusive month long series entitled “The Contemporary Muslim Woman” featuring diverse Muslim women writers from around the world discussing a gamut of topics in their own unique, honest and eclectic voices.

Breaking a Stalemate

ZEBA IQBAL

My sincere request to the Muslim American community, namely eligible men and their mothers, matrimonial sites and event organizers, and rishta aunties everywhere: ‘Please stop ignoring me, and many others like me. I am part of a growing population of single women over 35 in our community, and we are not going away.’

We’ve reached a stalemate on marriage (probably several years ago) and have been on opposite sides of the table for too long. Can we be allies, not enemies? No one’s right. No one’s wrong. Can we call a truce and move on?

“The Contemporary Muslim Woman” Series: The Miseducation of Miss Ali

GOATMILK continues its original and exclusive month long series entitled “The Contemporary Muslim Woman” featuring diverse Muslim women writers from around the world discussing a gamut of topics in their own unique, honest and eclectic voices.

The Miseducation of Miss Ali

Nausheen Ali, March 6, 2009.

“God’s on my side!”  The words hit me like a wet spitball.  My fourth grade brawl over the singular swing in the playground had developed into a theological tit for tat.   The funny part was that she had said exactly what I was thinking.  I knew my schoolmate had no idea what she was talking about.  There was no way God was on HER side, because I was a Muslim and God is ONLY on the side of the Muslims…wait, huh?  Yeah, yeah that was right; all the Hindus, Christians and Jews were going straight to hell because they were not Muslim, yeah that was right.  Something in that logic didn’t quite fit, but that’s what my uncle had told me, so it must be true, right?   Incidentally, the same uncle had once proclaimed that all men were better than women because…well, God said so.  Growing up Muslim in an Indo-Pak family with no father and a mother who worked three jobs I had a lot of time to think about the inequities of life.  A spattering of chauvinistic Islamic interpretation, attendance at an all Christian middle school and general familial chaos all culminated in creating one perplexed pre-pubescent Muslimah.